


A Well Earned Slap

by Resacon1990



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Bilbo is Done, Bilbo knocks it out of him, Desolation of Smaug, Face Slapping, Hobbit Kink Meme, M/M, Pre-Gold Sickness, Thorin Is an Idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-07 10:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1895676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Resacon1990/pseuds/Resacon1990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"After Smaug leaves and the dwarves are safe in the mountain, Bilbo slaps Thorin for blocking his way with the sword."</p><p>Fill for Hobbit Kink Meme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Well Earned Slap

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Kink Meme Post [here](http://hobbit-kink.livejournal.com/9471.html?thread=21270271).
> 
>  
> 
> **Original Post:**
>
>> After Smaug leaves and the dwarves are safe in the mountain, Bilbo slaps Thorin for blocking his way with the sword.
> 
>  
> 
> All mistakes are my own :)

Smaug is grudgingly wonderful to look at as he flies. The gold falling off of him in small showers of glowing liquid. 

Not that Bilbo really cares as he pushes himself up off of the stone he's lying on, only really glancing at the dragon making his way to Lake-Town. He hopes the others they left behind will be okay, Fili, Kili, Oin and Bofur. If not Bilbo will most certainly be having words with that ridiculous dwarf king about loyalty and not being an utter _pillock_. 

Who, speaking of, Bilbo can hear at the front of the entrance of Erebor. Honestly, he doesn't quite know how he got this far away from the others, but when he turns and sees all nine of them standing in a rambunctious group clearly stressing over the _dragon_ escaping _alive_ , well he doesn't care about his moving abilities as he begins to stumble over the rubble towards them. 

Each step seems to fuel a spark of anger in him though, especially when he sees the bedraggled looking Thorin watching him, and Bilbo can't stop himself from storming straight towards the king. 

"You!" he screeches across the distance left between them, "you almost got me bloody killed!" and he sees the others looking puzzled as Thorin just quirks his head to the side with a frown on his face. 

Oh no. Bilbo is _not_ having any of this playing dumb nonsense. 

As soon as he's within distance he raises a hand and slams his open palm against Thorin's cheek, a loud cracking noise ringing out across the desolate land as skin hits skin. 

Almost instantly there's an uproar, and Bilbo hears the commotion of the dwarves as half of them start to surge forward, probably to string Bilbo and decapitate him or something like that, whilst the others hold them back with grunts and growls. Bilbo doesn't pay them any mind though, certain that Balin most definitely has a good grasp on Dwalin's beard, as he continues to glare at a stunned Thorin who's holding his cheek in shock. 

"Did you just slap-"

"You bloody know what I just did, Thorin Oakenshield," Bilbo snaps, his hands planted on his hips, "and I have half a mind to do it again. For a rock. You almost _killed me for a rock_!"

The dwarves fall silent at that, and Thorin just continues to impersonate a fish as he just stands there gaping at Bilbo, rather unattractively really. But Bilbo just shakes his head and reaches forward to deliver another slap to Thorin's others cheek, satisfied at the sound of his hit, wondering if it'll knock some sense into the dwarf. 

"You are ridiculous!" he hisses "my life for a rock? I hardly think that's fair! And to think that it was going to be you who was going to run me through with a sword! _You_. Of all people. Why, an Orc I'd understand, a goblin sure, even _Dwalin_ I'd expect over you!"

"Bilbo-"

"Oh! So we're back to Bilbo are we? Whatever happened to 'Master Baggins' or 'Master Burglar'? Or even 'halfling' and 'hobbit'? Has me helping you to attempt to slay the dragon suddenly made me worth my own first name?"

All the dwarves stand speechless, although none more so than Thorin. Bilbo glares at the dwarf king, his hands still on his hips and he feels taller than a elf with his anger fuelling him, and it's not until Thorin purses his lips and gestures at Balin that Bilbo finally gets an answer. 

"There is a sickness," Balin says as he steps forward, glancing at his king for permisson, but it doesn't matter as Bilbo shakes his head and holds up a hand to stop the dwarf. 

"If the _king_ so badly wants this to be explained to me," he spits, "he can bloody damn well do it himself. You _owe_ me an explanation, Thorin. I demand one from _you_."

Silence. He receives silence for his demands. But hobbits are known to be patient, and Bilbo stands in front of the company with a glare on his face as he _waits_ for Thorin to sigh and raise his head. 

"Gold sickness is a madness that runs in the line of Durin," he says, and Bilbo deflates a little at hearing the genuine _sadness_ in Thorin's voice, "my grandfather was overtaken by it, it's what drew the dragon here in the first place. Gold sickness takes over the mind, drives the dwarf mad until all he craves is the touch of gold. Nothing else can get through to them once it's sunk its claws in, once they've gone mad. My grandfather was crazed until the day he was slain. My father… he was beginning to experience the symptoms when Smaug came, and he left us, driven by his madness and not wishing to inflict himself on us despite our protests," he pauses and Bilbo doesn't flinch when he takes a small step forward and offers Bilbo the smallest of saddened smiles, "it's why I didn't want Fili and Kili to accompany us."

"You knew Fili wouldn't come if Kili couldn't."

"Aye," and Bilbo almost aches to put his hand on Thorin just like Dwalin, the large dwarf resting his on the kings shoulder, "Kili was too sick to come, and it was the excuse I'd been looking for this entire time. I can't risk my two nephews going... going _mad_ like their forefathers."

"And you?" Bilbo asks, "you would risk yourself?"

"I thought I might handle it, having seen the horrors of what Gold Sickness does first hand," Thorin shakes his head as his hands tighten into fists, "I see now I was wrong. To draw a sword on _my_ _hobbit_? To almost willingly end your life for the arkenstone? Madness overcame me much quicker and stronger than I thought possible. The longing for my home over so many years may have caused it to manifest itself in me so the temptation of gold and riches, of the possibility of seeing the _arkenstone_ once again, prevailed over me almost on sight on seeing that treasury."

It's not an excuse, far from it. Bilbo believes Thorin should've known, should've thought that walking into that treasury and possibly succumbing to Gold Sickness within seconds was a thing the company and Bilbo _should've known_. But he understands the madness that Thorin was explaining, and he sighs as he surprises them all by walking forward and dragging the king into an embrace. 

"No more secrets," he says and Thorin nods against his neck, "and you're not going back into that room. No matter what. I will not allow it."

Thorin seems like he's about to argue, but Bilbo pulls away and gently slaps his cheek again, enough so that Thorin quietens his protest and looks at him with wide eyes. 

"Promise me," Bilbo stresses, "promise me you won't go in there. You said that you don't want your nephews succumbing to Gold Sickness, and I don't want _you_ to either. _Promise me_ you won't make the mistakes of you father or grandfather, that you will fight this madness and _let us help you_. Please. _Promise me_."

Thorin nods, but Bilbo shakes his head and whispers the words again and again until Thorin sighs and murmurs, "I promise."

Bilbo cups his cheeks, his thumbs stroking over the abused redness of the skin, "thank you," he says as he tugs on Thorin's braids with the ends of his fingers, "I can't lose you."

They stand in silence for a long moment, both just breathing each other in, and Bilbo hears the other dwarves murmuring behind them, about the dragon and the gold and the destruction of Erebor, and he tries to ignore before he sighs and pulls away. He can talk to Thorin later. Ask about the "my hobbit" comment, discuss whatever is between them, but for now...

"Smaug is going to destroy Lake-Town," he says, "unless Bard can kill him with his black arrow-"

There's cries of astonishment from the other dwarves that cut Bilbo off mid-sentence, and Thorin looks at him with wide and confused eyes as Bilbo rolls his. 

"Honestly, how you've all gotten by without me, I don't know," he clucks, but smiles at Thorin's sheepish grin, "Bard was not the only one finding out about lost families when he left the house. His children know the story of Girion too well for them not to be related."

"You are strange hobbit, Bilbo Baggins," Thorin says, and Bilbo gently smacks his arm.

"Yes, well, that I may be," he agrees, but he shakes his finger in front of Thorin's nose, "but at least I won't be a king at war if I don't treat the humans with respect when they undoubtedly come knocking at the door with your nephews, blaming you for Smaug's attack and demanding for compensation."

"Can you see the future now, Bilbo?" Ori pipes up, and Bilbo smiles softly at him as he slips his hand down to take Thorin's and squeezes it tightly, almost as if to reassure himself. 

"Don't be silly," he laughs, "but I do see there's a storm coming, and we most certainly need to be ready for it," he glares at Thorin, " _all_ of us."

Thorin doesn't say anything, just holds Bilbo's gaze before he turns to Dwalin and mutter "seal it". It's ambiguous, Bilbo thinks, but the dwarf must understand though as he watches Dwalin assemble the rest of the dwarves and disappear inside, yet Thorin stays by his side.

"You're not going in to?" Bilbo asks, and Thorin smiles at him.

"My dear hobbit," he says quietly, "I will never risk your life so foolishly ever again over some worthless gold."

"Oh," and Bilbo smiles because _that's_ what he meant. To seal away the gold, and Bilbo can't help but let his smile turn to a grin before his joyful laugh splits the air.

The world may burn in front of them, he thinks, but at least not inside them, not inside Thorin.

**Author's Note:**

> I know it wasn't my best, but I did try and I hope it's what OP wanted!
> 
> Thank you for reading :)
> 
> (Also, does anyone else wonder just how Bilbo got so far away from the main gates of Erebor so quickly? That throws me every time.) 
> 
> [my tumblr (if you wanna :D)](http://resacon1990.tumblr.com/)


End file.
